The SEVEN Rules of Gig Band Ethics

1. “Not Me”–Those who unpack have less to pack up unless they have a compelling need to split early to go to another party, whereby they will work harder on break down.
2. “Dibs” –Whoever calls a groupie first has unlimited claim for the evening, unless the groupie has absolutely no interest, whereby she is fair game for another band member. (Note: the groupie has no say in the matter whatsoever.)
3. “Copping out”–Never play Free Bird, Proud Mary, Celebration unless there is a minimum $50 tip.
4. “If another band sucks!”–If another band sucks, it is respectful to say, “Cool set” after their set. You never know when your band is going to suck by comparison to another as well.
5. “Fashion Statements”–Never wear anything trite when playing a “gig”. If you look like you are playing a “gig” then you over did it.
6. “Equipment envy”—if another band member’s Axe or Rack (or drum kit or keys etc.) is virtually orgasmic, you are only allowed to ask politely if you can “check it out”. If you drool, then all bets are off.
7. “DJ—allowable or not?”—A DJ is a threat to any gigging band. Therefore, DJ’s should be banished from the face of the earth, unless they are part of your band and play music on breaks, OR they can scratch records for rap songs, OR the hiring party has enough money to pay your band and a DJ.